Someone to believe in us
Remember that time when your mom, or dad, or your sibling, or your friend, or your boss, or even a stranger told you, “Yes, I know you can do it?” Or when you bagged that client that you didn’t think would contract your services but turns out they were super impressed with your previous work than you imagined they would be? Or did 20 squats because your fitness instructor was there to cheer you on? Or stuck to a keto diet because your nutritionist or partner kept telling you that you are achieving that [BMI] body mass index goal that you have been working towards? People call it support; others say that person x pushed me to do this or that;other call it words of affirmation [hehe, I love it when people ask me what my love language is and then go ahead and list five items for me to pick from. How can you limit something impenetrable like love to just five ways? We always want to put things/ people in a box]. The bottom line, someone believed in you. Someone took a chance on you. Not only do human beings want to believe in something- [https://link.medium.com/b3iZJJYiejb], they also want to be believed in. Human nature is complex. It’s intriguing; it’s confusing; it’s frustrating, but that is what makes it unique and fun.
We want someone to tell us that yes, yes we will make it; that we can make it through those strenuous squats… or that guilt-free garlic zucchini pasta [zoodles] that is on day three of our keto diet. O’wow! I can see you roll your eyes. Yes, that exists. And yes, I can see you Google that, and yes you will find it. I truly admire people who can invent healthy ways of enjoying those severely unpalatable vegetables. Zoodles, SMH! Or roasted Normandy vegetables. Yes, I’ll let you Google what that is. I like those vegetables because they are good for plating. They add color and make what you’re serving look expensive. I will eat them every once in a while when I want to trick my brain into thinking that I am now a calorie-conscious healthy eating human, but it is not a meal that I would particularly enjoy. Ah! Wait, I was talking about how we human beings want to be believed in.
When someone believes in you or does something to imply that they do, you suddenly believe in yourself. You reveal this courage that was buried in doubt and fear. You feel powerful and limitless. You become more confident and determined. There must be a word for that sudden surge in courage that you experience when you realize that someone believes in you. You feel seen. You feel recognized. Consequently, you recognize your strengths. You feel validated. You suddenly realize this level of positivity in yourself and in what you are about to do. The odds that you will succeed even increase. Most people need someone to believe in them. See that optimism that a kid suddenly shows when he or she is being cheered on in an egg and spoon race, even adults need it; someone to cheer you on. Where exactly does that need to be believed in fall under Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?
Feel that confidence you get when your boss puts you in charge of a task that you could not imagine he or she would. Or winning that contract that you did not think you would because your competitors seemed more qualified than you were? It changes your perspective of yourself. It changes the way you feel about yourself. You feel motivated. It clears those doubts that you had about your abilities. It radiates a different kind of energy within you. It ignites a fire that fuels your passion and makes you chase after your dreams and ambitions. It transforms you. It changes your attitude.
See that weight-loss diet that you have been trying, what happens when you are not intrinsically motivated to continue with it? What happens when your friends tell you that you still look the same? See, not many people are intrinsically motivated to do anything. There are people who do not need anyone to believe in their abilities, there are those that want that extra push, and then there are people who no matter how much you believe in them, it will not matter; they are not motivated at all. They won’t do it. It is the beauty of human nature.
But it counts when someone believes that we can do it. Yes, yes, there are people who believe in themselves, but there’s a different kind of energy that you feel when you realize that someone else believes in you. This applies to almost every aspect of our lives. We want life coaches/ mentors that believe in us as we take a leap to the next ladder in our career or our entrepreneurial journey; marriage counselors that assure us that amid the chaos that our marriage will survive; sports coaches that encourage us and assure us that we will be able to hit the bull’s eye the next time we play archery even though the arrows [those that make it onto the target], appear to have been shot by a blindfolded person. We want nutritionists who believe in us as we start our journey towards our desired weight or health goals; that push us to commit to that diet plan. I love diet plans that are designed to help one lose or manage weight, gain muscle, add weight, reduce blood pressure, improve fertility, increase sleep quality, et cetera. They transform lives.
Then there are the fancy diet plans that are designed to make you feel and look important and pretentious. These plans are the new black. You need a plan that will make you throw in phrases like, “Excusez-Moi, how many calories are in that glass of carbanet? O, 122 Cal? O’ dear me. Sorry, I have hit my calorie count for the day.” Then you push that gold engraved menu away and ask for sparkling water for dessert. Feeling refined already? Regardless, I genuinely admire people that can keep up with their calorie intake, be it out of necessity or sheer show-off. It seems like a lot of work.
Wait, I was trying to conclude. Yeah, someone believing in us. It is beautiful to see how our perception of ourselves and the world changes when we know that someone believes in us. It is even more beautiful when we believe in ourselves. It is empowering to know that you can do it. It complements others people’s hope in us. Find yourself that person that believes in you; that pushes you to reach your goals. Find yourself a mentor who supports your aspirations. It clears the uncertainty on your path.
Wait, have you ever thought about the role that uncertainty plays in our lives? Have you ever thought of it as a gift? Food for thought.
